I disagree with her on most important issues, but I refuse to join the posse of witch-hunters proclaiming that she’s sloppy-seconds bait for PUMAs and that she doesn’t represent the interests of women. It’s the same ridiculous business that drives me nuts when people resort to low-blows about whether Barack is “black enough” or “white enough” or if Michelle is “too angry.” I’m hoping, at the very least, that this election will force the American people to recognize that these are individuals, not icons onto which we can project the entire history and future of inequality.

I’m also hoping that, as an outsider, Palin will bring some new (thoughtful) vision to the Republican Party. Arianna wrote today about its disappointing, fringe state and the need to reconsider its future. After today’s research, it seems unlikely that Palin will divert much from the evangelical stranglehold, but we haven’t really seen her in action yet.

Early instincts leave me feeling about Sarah Palin the same way I do about Mike Huckabee, the conservative you just want to cuddle. It’s unfortunate that their positions are illogical, ineffective and religious-based because it’s fun to have some likeable and spunky Republicans around. The same way I respect Barack’s shrewd assent to leadership in the Democratic party, I can admire Palin’s. I also suspect I would have been pals with “Sarah Barracuda” when she was captain of the high school championship basketball team, shooting the game-winning free throw on an injured ankle. And you’ve got to hand it to a woman who managed to deliver her keynote address seven hours before giving premature birth to a Down syndrome baby and going back to work three days later. I even respect the mom who gives unconditional love to her pregnant 17-year-old daughter who’s made a mistake (although, perhaps that abstinence-only education policy isn’t the best idea?).

She passes my intestinal fortitude test even if I can’t vote for her, and I’ll be looking forward to her debates with keen interest.

Just read this unsettling post from Paul Rieckhoff, who is the Executive Director of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America. It underscores some very disturbing statistics about sexual assault in the military:

Women make up 20% of all new recruits and more than 11% of the forces deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan.

The rates of assault are shocking. Almost one-third of women veterans say they were sexually assaulted while in the military. (In the general population, one out of every six American women has been a victim of a sexual assault.) Already, 15 percent of female Iraq and Afghanistan veterans who have gone to the VA for care have screened positive for Military Sexual Trauma. But even these troubling figures may not be telling the whole story; experts estimate that half of all sexual assaults go unreported. 

The official response to individual cases of assault is also unsettling. In 2007, only 8 percent of sexual assailants were referred to courts martial, compared with 40 percent of similar offenders prosecuted in the civilian court system. 

A special DOD “task force” on sexual assault in the military was created almost 4 years ago — but it has yet to convene for a single meeting.

This disgusts me so much it’s beyond words. Contact the Department of Defense Sexual Assault Prevention and Response program here. 

I’m a size 0-2 and in great shape and my fiance tells me he loves the way I look every chance he gets. When I look in the mirror all I see is fat fat fat. Why? because when I was in college, I dated a guy that pinched my stomach and told me it was gross, and I have never been able to get over it.

My boobs are so saggy that I can hide my whole hand under them. I am only 28, but my boobs have always been saggy. I am sad cause I never got the perky ones. And I have no money for a lift, so I guess I just have to feel shitty about them.

I have been fat since I was 7. I blame my mother for this, as she was addicted to food and couldn’t shield me from her constant eating for support. Now she has lost 100 pounds and is skinny mini for the first time in years while I’m still 70lbs overweight and screwed. She was proud of me for losing the weight once thanks to antidepressants starving me down, but I gained it all back plus more. I feel worthless. And jealous.

I lost 90 pounds and looked and felt beautiful than opppps got pregnant and feel HUGE now. I miss my smaller body. I miss feeling sexy.

For once - i’d like to attract someone because of me instead of my body.

I’m not surprised because this is how the female mind operates. It’s so much easier to take something that’s bothering you (a heartbreak, a stressful work environment, an uncertain future) and make it about situps and starvation, because those are things that seem easy to control by comparison. If you make a habit out of that, though, you never really address the root cause of your discontent. I hope this site will help people express what they need to say, and that the collective combination of so many women nonsensically berating themselves will be an impetus to stop that kind of negative thinking.

It wasn’t particularly relevant to our nation’s governance when Bill did not have sexual relations with Monica, and Edwards’ alleged infidelity is no different. It is, however, culturally relevant in this year of the empowered female electorate; even if you’re not interested in gawking at the juicy details (great HuffPost by Lee Stranahan here), you have to consider the plight of the wives of powerful men.

We’ve had three great examples this year: HRC (The Real Comeback Kid), Elizabeth Edwards (The Stoic Survivor), and Silda Spitzer (The Scorned Woman). All three intelligent, respectable women in one way or another who are handling the situation in their own ways. In any case, it’s not particularly encouraging to us single women looking for a stimulating partnership that can nurture our personal strengths and objectives.

So much depends on the individuals involved that these scenarios are beyond judgment, and we have no real right to our public figures’ personal lives. It’s disappointing, but it also can’t be easy for people living at the epicenter of the power and media circuit to manage their relationships. I met both Bill Clinton and John Edwards in Iowa during the caucuses this past winter, and like every other woman within a hundred yards, my heart went atwitter and I had to begrudgingly reminded myself that I respected their  wives too much to indulge the thoughts in my head. (For those keeping score: I didn’t turn on Hillary until the 3am ads in Texas and Ohio.)

If true, this Edwards business will be a tough one to accept. I’ve interviewed his daughter, Cate, and met Elizabeth at the BlogHer Conference in Chicago last year after she gave a speech; they are both remarkable women. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be in such a position. All I can say is that I will flip out if something like this ever comes out about Barack Obama. I’m always inspired by him and Michelle, and it would be beyond disappointing.

Amid her ardent supporters’ chants of “Denver! Denver!” and the whimsical goodbye commentaries of the pundits and surrogates who backed her as the primaries ended this week, Hillary Clinton’s refusal to concede the election and her borderline delusional instance on the relevance of her outdated, divisive brand of female empowerment was never so poignant.

It was sad to watch Hillary tarnish her great legacy as a leading Democrat in Tuesday’s speech by failing to acknowledge Obama’s victory; but the greater tragedy of her failed presidential bid is that she didn’t take the opportunity to acknowledge and embrace the arrival of a new feminism.

Women no longer live in an unrealistic competition-to-have-it-all model. For decades we’ve seen exhausted women sacrifice their sanity, health and self-esteem in a misguided quest to prove that there is some sort of unisex life experience where parenting and professional responsibilities take long walks on the beach and snuggle in bed. Hillary is a victim of this illusion herself, as those who accuse her of employing a coattails strategy that manipulated her husband’s success love to point out. In reality, she may have been the first stay-at-home mom to have her “experience” supporting her daughter and husband as First Lady legitimized and later touted as the central resume talking point of her campaign. But far more people frame her ascent to power through the former lense, making it about punishing Bill for his infidelity or her insatiable hunger for power.

This perception was avoidable had she dropped that rough-edged, beat the men at their “all-boys club of presidential politics” chip on her shoulder and taken a more transparent approach. Instead of remaining zip-lipped about Monica et al and acting as if we voters owed her this glorious and inevitable comeback, she could have earnestly reached out to the women who applauded her refusal to bake cookies during the 90s. Back then her formidable intelligence and strength impressed and buoyed all of us; now it fails to resonate.

Women now acknowledge that we are not the same creatures as men. Not only do we cry when high-stakes elections get tough, as my client, Dr. Louann Brizendine, wrote in her book, “The Female Brain,” the hormones and genes in our brains have biologically wired us to be more emotionally sensitive and in-tune with the feelings of others than are men. This capacity for responding to nuances is one of our greatest leadership and management tools, and Hillary seemed to hold it at arms length like a pair of smelly socks.

Perhaps it wouldn’t have taken so long to select our Democratic nominee if she’d never shed those tears in New Hampshire. If you flash back to that January day, when the usually stoic senator let down her I-Can-Be-Commander-in-Chief exterior in a Feminine Moment: It was then that the nation embraced her and revived her candidacy.

Race stepped into the spotlight when Barack Obama eloquently responded to Rev. Jeremiah Wright, but the corresponding conversation about gender only gained traction with her recent criticisms of media misogyny, coming 15 minutes late and sounding lame given the similar discriminatory context her opponent overcame. The subject was broached briefly after a November debate in Philadelphia, when the Hillary camp accused her male competitors of ‘piling on.’ The take-it-like-a-man backlash that followed proved that underscoring gender dynamics was not going to be an effective strategy, and we never saw a similar degree of scrutiny applied again. Maybe the lesson she should have taken from Obama’s playbook was that challenges of this nature must be met head-on because sweeping something obvious under the rug still means the floor is dirty.

Many of us still find ourselves faced with Hillary’s dilemma. We younger gals may take our birth control pills religiously in hopes that one of these sly guys at the bar on Saturday night won’t prevent us from actually using our degrees and decorating that corner office with our names on it, but we typically marry men who are three to four years older and more established in their careers, meaning we are the ones to pack up our desks when it’s time to move for a critical promotion. Then once we have babies, our female brains change forever into aggressively protective “C-suiteMommy Brains,” rewired by the hormones of pregnancy and giving birth. The main focus of our lives during the child-rearing years cannot be expected to be exclusively on professional achievements. That may come later in our careers, but not during the same years as child-rearing, as it does for men. The new feminism no longer requires that you deny your biological reality. We can still dream big, but choices, societal expectations, career paths and personal goal setting must be grounded in these evolutionary parameters.

What we saw in this election is what all women see: When you choose to delay the pursuit of your career, you’re gambling and you’d better be prepared to lose.

Despite that harsh reality, the good news is that Hillary didn’t lose because she is a woman. She lost because she was beat by an inspiring, once-in-a-lifetime leader who also faced considerable adversity. While misogyny did at times surface, the election should be largely viewed as a victory for the principle of American equality. For the small segment of the population that was uncomfortable with having a woman or black man serve as head of state, there were also a majority of Democrats who made a concerted effort to vote on experience and merit. Those who did showed bold leadership and sent an important message to those who embrace intolerance. For this, we should be proud that our nation has evolved and applaud both our candidates as we begin to reunite the Democratic party. We should also take this opportunity to learn from the missed opportunities of a complicated and bold woman, and begin a new conversation about the female experience. One that embraces the concepts of balance, partnership and possibility.